"Machismo so Horney"

I am waiting for a headline in the local beat, stating
"Death to Nicaraguan Construction Worker by internal Sperm explosion.” It hasn’t come yet, but without offering help to the Machismo Society I am Living in, it is bound to.

As a recently single man burrowing into the boredom of summer solitude in Central American Paradise, I have become a little more aware of the sexual energy in the air and the many different approaches waged upon the beautiful, and even not so, women in the small boom surf town I call home, Tamarindo. I thought it would be an opportune time to dive into the bush and come out swinging with opinions about the male prowess in hopes of finding my own truths as well as shedding some advice and understanding for those who just can't seem to help their own cause no matter how honest and deserving they may be. This one is for you my Latin sex charged compadres, and for all the people that are helpless yet hopeful with good honest and passionate intent.It's no secret that Latin Male Culture Prides itself on it's Machismo strut, and despite it always being in the face of expats and tourists, especially the one's with blonde hair and boobies, It may have merit in existence.

Machismo, simply defined, according to dictionary.com is: the strong or exaggerated sense of manliness; an assumptive attitude that virility, courage, strength, and entitlement to dominate are attributes or concomitants of masculinity.

On definition alone, this state of being can probably be used to describe 90% of the male population in any given bar in any give town in and given part of the world past designated happy hour time slots. But in Latin America Culture, it has only been widely used since the 1990's when feminist groups were trying to label the reasoning for Latino's having an inherent attraction to grabbing there crotches and cat calling every single women that passes there glance. In my experience, this seems to be a more vulgar sentiment depending on man's decreased economial postion, and social status. Or rather, the poorer the man, the more handful of his own juevos he receives on a daily basis, and rightly so. Most of my time in Costa Rica has been spent living similar to a Tico, a commonly used phrased for males born in the country of Costa Rica. Having a Latin extended family, I've gotten first hand experience living inside the family unit of young Latin Males.Through these experiences I have gained insight, and opinion as to why Latin Men are so sex charged and proud to be Men.

Reason number one, is simple, a lack of a adult male presence for young males. If Prick with a Dick was there to be a Father, perhaps he would be able to shed some insight on exactly where being proud and vulgar gets you, married, children, divorced, child support, girlfriend, more children, more child support, poor and confused at Christmas due to not knowing which family unit to be with, and not being able to remember your children’s name.

Secondly, privacy in youth. I remember being 13 once, and having a plethora of tools at my disposal for my two time a day spank bank session with Maestra Robinson, or senior cheerleader Suzy. There were gels, household items, napkins and Central Air, but most of importantly my own room. There was never five year old sister Maria snoring next to me, or Grandma Rosa rocking in the chair reading the bible while rinsing her underwear in the sink next to her, and conincidentally whoever else is in the room. Can you imagine going through your whole adolescent life without the opportunity to close your eyes and go to work in peace and privacy. Eight immediate family member sharing the same hot room, doesn't create the type of ambience most of us gringos were afforded in our "in heat" puberty rich youth. So the vicious cycle is formed. Uneducated Sex is Had, Poverty is regurgitated, and Pride of what you own, is all you live for which is the six babies you created.

I do not condone the social aspects of the Machismo philosophy that cripples good common principal such as, adultery, avoiding responsibility, and overall disregard to feminie beings, however I must give kudos for having the resiliency to be continually kicked in the balls, straighten back up, and persistently ask..."Gracias Senor, Otra vez."

The Scenario is simple: Eighteen year old Jose is out of the house for the first time, working hard as slave labor for some Wet Dream Developer in Paradise, where he is provided two square meals a day, a cement seven story construction zone Jail cell, and then often room and board where 250 other young men just like him are tiredly falling a sleep to the thoughts of blue eyed Betty who passed the dusty road below there concrete tour with a thong bikini and dripping blonde hair. The variety in women in any paradise tourist town would make most sane men drop there hammer, and reach for the power tool. I look, 80% of the time, why the hell wouldn't they scream out at the top of their lungs...."OH Mamasita." Seriously!! However, I choose Discrete Methods; they have no realistic reason for. So the night comes when they get a day off and a bottle of Cacique in there brain, and they hit the village looking for anything with a pulse to conquer, because the world all around them is oblique, somber and definitely conquering them. Every man deserves opportunity to let a screw loose. Oversimplified, of course, but throw in extreme poverty, no way of improving your social status, the need to belong and feel powerful in a world that has forgoten you and in a country that is no longer theirs and we have a small glimpse of the mentality we are dealing with.

Perhaps empathy is warranted, but empathy doesn’t resolve the problematic process. And nobody get’s laid without a little effort. The story for most decent men is the same. With social entertainment cost pricing most out of a decent opportunity to interact with members of the opposite gender, and the opposite gender seemingly always having upscale expectations, sexual endeavors are at best, random luck. Your not maricon for choosing to avoid a battle that isn’t stacked in your favor. Of course Sexual Life would be simpler for all men afforded the right to His and Her Surfboards and a motorcycle ride for two to the land of uninhibited intercourse. Godless the “Pura Vida” tico's and there wealth of foreign love making experience, without you, the rest of us misplaced romantics would truly not be able to envy anyone. Of course the art of seduction is more free when you can afford countless attempts at highly inflated entertainment settings. But nothing in life is free, and you always get what you pay for.

Standards need to be set and I personally prefer the solitude and sanity of being single far more than the random night of debauchery and passion with a stranger that I either pity or even worse, it's reciprocal. I still have the non-costly chance of meeting Mr.’s "right now" while watching a sunset with my son, or combing through the bare super market aisles bargain shopping for beans and rice, while my hard working sex deprived peers do not. I know, It's hard being poor, single, and horrifyingly honest about desire.

To the credit of most Latin men, atleast they don't discriminate, by shape, age, or bank roll. The Richer and charming are not always this kind and sincere with there methods of approach.

The only incouraging sign for women is this type of non-discrete, mating call madness, is not contagious. I don't expect to be sitting at my favorite modern, third story sushi lounge, with a group of decent men and standing at full attention with drink and member in hand at every women that walks into the open air ambience, no matter how long the dry spell continues. But I am uncommon gringo, Your safe from me. However not the overabundant well-to-do the suave guy that says he will buy you a drink, even though it's Thursday night and the Ladies night Rum Punches are free, as he eye humps the far more attractive girl in the sun dress across the room. These men occupy the scene and are just as inherently machismo as Juan the Gardner that drools approval every time you’re out walking your pooch. Be cautious ladies, Vulgar is Preconceived, not always Pronounced.

Maybe I have changed to many diapers, or become too sympathetic to those who have little hope. Perhaps my domesticated scent in the social scene is equivalent to that of my desperate dark horse construction worker brothers, and our chances for long moonlit walks on pristine beaches with the women we desire are minimal. But my philosophy is simple and peacefully pacifies my existence through dehydrating droughts and effortless rejection; If everyone else is DOING it, is it really going to help me evolve in any form towards achievement of what I truly desire.

This philosophy quite remarkably, should be turned into a question that my machismo many should ask themselves as well from the moment they become armed and dangerous. If everyone else is going garbage grabbing, and shouting indigenous insult at every woman that passes, and still wakes up cocked and ready to explode, is the approach working.

Safe, boringly common, and expected leads you on the path to meeting social, economical, and predesigned expectations not surpassing them. How do you win the war on women instead of being the victim? Ignore them! When your really desperate ignore them and improve yourself. When your ready, and almost at the point of becoming the martyr in the pre mentioned headline, Attack in subtlety, and sincerity. No one wins a war they don’t believe is worth dying for.

Be Creative. Be Educated not Obvious! And always be, but never play it safe.